A few days ago, I think on Saturday night, I went to bed asking Krishna a very very simple question, to get Him to talk to me. I feel like such a silly child but I was doing it because I wanted Him to speak to me. I have heard of people hearing God’s voice and how God guides them and literally speaks to them. Like they actually hear God’s voice. Often, I ask questions and sometimes I don’t get an answer, be it in dreams or hearing Krishna’s instructive voice, or a sign… anything. Or maybe I do, but I don’t realize it. But I wanted a direct answer. So I thought let me ask Krishna a very simple and obvious question, so He will answer me. And I knew I was tricking Him into it, I was even giggling while asking the question. I asked Him:
Govinda, do You accept devotional service?
Then I giggled and I smirked because I knew I was tricking Him into answering me. Then I went to bed. And I had this dream, where a statue of Lord Chaitanya was there with His 4 associates. I bowed down to them and offered my obeisances.
Then I woke up. I tried to trick Krishna and He answered me in a tricky way too! Govinda is very very playful. In the dream I was performing an act of devotional service. Scriptures tell us that Lord Chaitanya began the movement of sankirtan and devotional service. He emphasized on and displayed devotional service all throughout His life. Lord Chaitanya was the embodiment of Radharani’s devotion towards Krishna. So with this dream, Krishna answered my oh-so-obvious question about whether He accepts devotional service or not. While I would have loved to receive the answer through Krishna’s voice, I am happy, nonetheless, that He answered me. Krishna is absolute. Whether it is in a dream, in a book, in the form of His name, in the form of devotional service, He is absolute. Despite the obvious nature of my question, He still answered me and pacified me. He is full of mercy! I am grateful and I feel loved, for the Lord teaches me in so many ways. It is His wish how He wants to answer us and teach us. And whatever method He chooses will be the best for us.
Sometimes we think that God does not want to answer our prayers. But when He decides not to answer them, that is ultimately the best way to deal with our problems. We are God’s servants, not the other way around. Sometimes, God doesn’t answer our prayers the way we want Him to. He answers them in a way that will be better for us, in a way that we “need” them to be answered. What is important is that we become submissive and surrender to Krishna’s will. Once we express that surrender, Krishna accepts it and takes over everything. Some of my friends and I have noticed, that as soon as we stop trying to control things and we surrender to Krishna’s will, all obstacles go away. One of my friends was running late and she couldn’t get a cab. So she prayed and said, “Lord, it is in Your hands. Do as You please.” She stepped outside and found around 4 cabs waiting there!
I often ask Krishna to let me hear His voice, to hear Him speaking directly to me and instructing me. But perhaps I am not ready yet, to hear His voice. Maybe I will not be able to handle His splendor. Maybe one day… when Krishna thinks I am ready, when He wants me to hear Him and see Him… one day…
Until then… kirtaniya sada hari*
*Always sing the glories of Lord Hari