Krsna, being the Lord of illusory external energy, can order this insurmountable energy to release the conditioned soul. He orders this release out of His causeless mercy on the surrendered soul and out of His paternal affection for the living entity. Therefore surrender unto the lotus feet of the Lord is the only means to get free from the clutches of the stringent material nature. – Srila Prabhupada
Monthly Archives: November 2010
Hare Krishna, everyone 🙂
Once again, I had the chance to see Ekalavya Dasa Prabhu. Today at Bhakti Vriksh, we were having Govardhan celebrations. We had kirtans for around 2 hours! It was crazy! So much energy, so much fun. Everyone was just absorbed in the kirtans.
Last night, as usual, I was feeling too sleepy to chant. I was going to chant at all, but I didn’t want to break my routine again like last time. So I started chanting, feeling terribly sleepy. I thought I’d just do one round.
“Help me chant. Let me concentrate.” I said. Then I got really dramatic and for some reason, I said, “If there really is a God then help me chant!”
How absurd! I don’t know why on earth I became so dramatic like that. It’s kind of funny lol. Either way, can you guess what happened next?
My concentration level just soared. My attentiveness was much better than it was a minute ago. I was shocked myself! My sleepiness had gone. I was reciting the mantra rather fast, but that usually is what helps me concentrate better. If I chant with slow speed, I can barely follow. With Krishna’s mercy, I had chanted my 2 rounds for the day 🙂
Yesterday, I was faced with a situation that normally makes me doubt and question Krishna. But somehow, it didn’t bother me at all. This is very very rare. Usually I just lose my mind and start doubting Krishna and asking Him to prove and reveal Himself to me. Yesterday, I was just peaceful. Doubting questions did occur to me, but they didn’t get to me, if you know what I mean. The only words resonating in my ears were Lord Chaitanya’s words from the Siksastakam:
“You are my worshippable Lord.”
The Lord is being very merciful to me. Lord, I thank You for holding me firm in my faith. You promised to preserve what I have and carry what I lack. You carried me out of my doubt. You helped me to chant. Lord, give me strength, give me unflinching faith. Please keep all of us in steady faith, God. Keep us in Your love.
I’m chanting up to 2 rounds daily now, by Krishna’s mercy. Today while I was chanting, I was so distracted. I couldn’t concentrate at all! I even dropped my beads back into my bag once by mistake, in the middle of my round.
Then I thought I should try to picture Krishna to concentrate better. It also occurred to me how a fellow blogger, In Love With Krishna, mentioned that she tries to visualize Krishna while chanting (thank you, ILWK). So I decided to try to visualize Krishna. Oh, the sweetest image of Him formed in my mind! It was so beautiful! Continue reading
Last week, on Monday to be precise, I went with some friends to Hatta. On the way there, I saw a rainbow for the first time EVER. It was so exciting! What was even more exciting was the thought about my deal with Krishna. Everytime it would rain, I would just hope and hope to see a rainbow. So I made this deal with Krishna: If I see a rainbow, it will be a gift for me from Him. So remembering this, I began to wonder if it was really a gift for me. Call it silly, but after having lived 20 years of my life and never seeing a rainbow, which is so hard to believe, it really did feel like a gift. So for confirmation, I thought if I get to see a peacock sometime during the day, it would mean that the rainbow was definitely a gift from Krishna. Lol, I feel kind of childish and silly typing out all these funny thoughts! Either way, I didn’t come across one. Although, we did stop in front of a store called “Al Sakhi” (Al in Arabic means ‘the’). Sakhi just made me think of how Krishna was Radharani’s saakhi and that itself made me feel Krishna’s presence.
Krishna let me taste some bliss last night. Thank You, Lord.
Last night, I was riding some emotional waves. I was feeling very sensitive. While I was chanting last night, somehow, I realized that last night I did not have the will to ask Krishna to show me any more miracles, any proof of His existence, etc. I realized that I didn’t need to beg for that. The first thing I need is to have faith in Him. So I begged for faith. I begged for love. I begged Him to smear my eyes with the ointment of love.
“Only a person whose eyes are smeared with the ointment of love can see the beautiful form of Sri Krishna.” Bhagavad Gita Purport, 11:50
So the day’s pretty much over. I just finished today’s diwali aarti a while ago. I was in such a rotten mood just before the aarti. I was so impatient and so irritated. I had to help my sister find an outfit for her high school graduation ceremony tomorrow and we just couldn’t find anything and it was frustrating me. We sat down for the aarti and I was just being so negative about everything. It all seemed very ritualistic, and I kept remembering the blog entry I posted earlier today, about ritualism. Moreover, I’ve gotten accustomed to thinking like this because of reading so much about how Hinduism is just “paganism” and “heathen”. So anyway, I reminded myself of my own blog entry, and told myself to think of the meaning behind these rituals. Soon, during the aarti, I started feeling very Continue reading