The OCD came back. Note that I have not been diagnosed by a doctor as yet but I’m pretty sure I’m behaving in a way that’s not normal. So whether it’s really OCD or not, this urge to keep cleaning is causing me terrible distress and anxiety. I can’t do normal things anymore. It feels like I’ve forgotten how to do simple things like wash my hands. I have to wash my hands at least 7-8 times in the same session till I feel clean or till it’s done perfectly. Although washing 7-8 times is not the minimum. Washing up in the morning takes about 30-45 minutes. Sometimes it takes an hour. Showering takes an hour and a half. I avoid going out as much as I can. I’m not afraid of getting sick. I’m afraid of getting dirty and of germs. I also use a lot of hand sanitizer and sanitizing wipes. It’s so tiring and stressful.
I humbly request readers to pray for me to get better and to be able to handle this. I’m tired of the anxiety that comes from this and how much it makes me panic. I’m tired of being ashamed, and of how people look at me like I’m weird. I really just want to feel normal again and be able to do normal things. I am currently reading some self-help books but more than all of that, I need the mercy of all of you devotees who are so dear to Krishna. I need Krishna to give me strength to face this head on and to deal with it. Krishna has the power to heal me. I am humbly asking for mercy and prayer from you.
Thanks a lot.
Here are some more nectarean miracle stories of those whose lives have been touched by Krishna 🙂
- “One day, while in college, I was bankrupt. I didn’t have money for bus to go to college, though all I need was just 2 Rs. Surprisingly, that day, none of my friends came to my room. So, I prayed to Krishna that if you are truly there, please take me to the college. I’ll not ask money from anyone…but Krishna pls somehow you should make me go to college. If you do so, I’ll never ever again doubt your presence. Actually, that was the time, by the mercy of my Gurudeva, I began worshiping Krishna in His idol form. I waited in my room for a long while…. Continue reading
I always believed in God. I always prayed. Although, when I was younger, I didn’t really know much about Hinduism which is the religion I was born into. But I always knew God exists. In school, I was too young to know the difference between different religions so I ended up staying put in class when other students left to different classrooms for their respective religious classes. I ended up studying Christianity from Grade 1 to 3. I was also in a Catholic school, so I was quite accustomed to praying according to the Catholic tradition, going to church, etc. My family is also very open minded about different religions. We would all go to church together sometimes, we have an altar at home, and many different murtis. We also have posters with Islamic verses on them. Obviously, as a result, my mind became very receptive to different religious traditions and cultures.
“We cannot win Krishna simply by Offering Gifts, for everything belongs to Him. Krishna cannot be won even by performing Great Service, for all energy and ability stems from Him alone.
All we can offer Him in all our activities is our Pure Devotional Mentality. The Lord is known as Bhavagrahi Janardhana, or ‘The Lord who accepts the devotional attitude of His devotee.‘
This is the secret of how to win the Eternal Service of Lord Krishna.”
– HH Jayapataka Swami
“There’s going to be a big jaganath ratha yatra festival on 11th Feb at ISC, Abu dhabi. Interested people may contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org. NO MONETARY HELP REQUIRED. Only help required is participation. If interested one may also take part in cooking puri’s or mixed vegetables or sheera for the pleasure of lord and his devotees.”
Do attend if you can! It will be a blast!
See what Sankarshan Das Adhikari has to say about this:
“Krishna becomes very, very angry when His devotees are tortured. He became so angry when Hiranyakasipu was trying to kill Prahlada Maharaja that He appeared in the form of Lord Nrsimhadeva and ripped that rascal apart with His own finger nails.
If a devotee is personally insulted he remains meek and humble. But if the Lord or another devotee is insulted, he becomes angry like fire to chastise the blasphemer. Such anger is divine.”