Category Archives: Testimonies + Miracles + Mercy Stories

“Panditah Sama Darshina”

On a blog post of mine called, “So you don’t eat meat?” a reader commented saying someone she knows, who is a Krishna devotee, speaks badly about other religions. Here’s an excerpt of my response:

Oh, it’s not nice to talk badly about the beliefs of others. I wish your sister in law would understand. If someone spoke to her badly about Krishna, she would get offended. It only makes sense then to try and avoid offending others! The Bhagavad Gita has this nice verse on equality:

“The humble sage, by virtue of true knowledge, sees with equal vision a learned and gentle brahmana, a cow, an elephant, a dog and a dog-eater [outcaste].” – BG 5.18

In Sanskrit, the translation of a part of this verse is “panditah sama darshina” meaning the wise see with equal vision. I love this short, simple quote and often remind myself of it when I feel like I am being biased or unequal in my perception of things. Perhaps maybe in passing, you could enlighten your sister in law about this verse :)

Then I was going over some of my old blog posts, thinking why don’t I write here that often anymore, thinking that I don’t have much to write about… I was checking my blog statistics and found that this is the most popular post on my blog: Miracles and Experiences in Krishna Consciousness. After reading about each of the miracles I had listed, I picked one to read. This one is about an English girl named Ananda. You can read the whole story here.

I read the story, felt amazed by it once again, and then found a link about Radhanath Swami’s talk at the Google headquarters. I was reading the article and after a couple of paragraphs into it, I saw that the EXACT SAME VERSE I had quoted above was mentioned in this article. I just sat there, shocked, staring at my computer screen, staring at the poster of Krishna on my wall, feeling amazed. All the events were completely random and I was amazed that somehow, I ended up finding an article that mentioned the same verse I had quoted just a few minutes ago! It kept making me feel like Krishna is still around, he’s still here, and he’s still trying to teach me. I felt like he was trying to tell me that the message of this verse is very important. It is! It is so important to treat others equally and fairly. If only more people would realize this, the world would be a better place. I can’t even begin to tell you about the tingles I felt at the back of my neck! Krishna is just amazing. Just… amazing.

6 Comments

Filed under Krishna Consciousness, Quotes, Testimonies + Miracles + Mercy Stories

Prayer Request for Shweta

Shweta said:

“I know my prayer request is nothing infront of all these requests which I read above but please pray for me that I get a little krishna of my own in October as I am expecting now. I want to hold and love my Krishna and I will name him Krishna. I just can’t wait till he is in my arms.

Hare Krishna!”

 

Dear Shweta, your prayer request made me feel so soft and warm and fuzzy inside! Congratulations! I was so pleased to read it! Let me tell you about a true story a devotee told me some time ago. A lady was expecting and during one of her check ups, the doctor found a tumor. As the baby was growing, the tumor was also growing. Extremely worried, she sought the advice of her guru maharaj, who advised her to chant a shloka from the Mahabharat episode where Parikshit Maharaj, who was in the womb of his mother Uttara at the time, was at threat from an arrow shot by Ashwattam. In the Mahabharat, Uttara asked Krishna to protect her child and Krishna did so. So the lady we are talking about was saying these slokas and praying to Krishna. The doctors began to find that the tumor was starting to shrink! The lady had a normal healthy delivery by Krishna’s mercy 🙂

Keeping this real life incident in mind as well as the incident in the Mahabharat, I pray that Krishna will protect your child. Gopinath, please bless Shweta and give her the necessary strength to take on this responsibility you have given her, and bless her and her child abundantly with good health. May they grow stronger in their faith in you day by day, dear Gopinath, and may her child become a loving devotee, just like the mother.

12 Comments

Filed under Krishna Consciousness, Prayer Requests, Testimonies + Miracles + Mercy Stories

A Loving Reminder

Even if you forget Krishna, He doesn’t forget you.

A few days ago, I was walking home when suddenly the words to Damodarastakam found its way to my lips. I began singing to myself and realized it had been very long since I last heard/sang the Damodarastakam. It felt wonderful to sing it again!

Something stirred in my heart. Krishna was informing me that Kartik Maas was soon beginning – I was sure of it! Surely enough, I went home and checked the dates only to find out Kartik Maas was just a few days away.

I haven’t had time to look at a Vaishnava calendar, I haven’t been following festival dates, I haven’t been giving enough time to Krishna… But he knows how much I love the Holy Month of Kartik. And like a little child who reminds everyone about the important days in their lives, Krishna reminded me of his special days.

Have a blessed month!

4 Comments

Filed under Festivals, Krishna Consciousness, Testimonies + Miracles + Mercy Stories

A Reminder

I haven’t had much time to myself in a while. Even if I did, I’ve been far too worn out to do any serious thinking. This would explain my absence from the blogosphere. Juggling work, therapy, OCD and lots of personal problems just means I’m begging for relaxation. It also means that I will never be able to fully relax. That’s what you get with OCD, y’know? Just never stops.

I’ve been home the past couple days. My job contract ended and now I’m trying in other places. Got through one, just waiting for confirmation.

I wouldn’t have even written this blog post today. But something happened. Rather… Krishna happened.

I feel like a girl who has fallen out of love and now finds herself slowly sinking in again.

I’ve been busy lately, like I explained at the start of this post. Because of that, I haven’t given much of my time to Krishna. Also, another reason I haven’t done that is because I got tired of over-thinking life. My brain has far too many thoughts as it is, and I wanted to loosen up and stop taking everything so seriously. I still prayed. I still thought of him. Just not as much as I used to.

Oh, how I missed him. I missed thinking about him, talking to him, reading about him… I missed at all. But somehow I couldn’t get myself to do it. This afternoon, I’ve spent my time ‘reminiscing’ about all the wrong things I’ve done. Is there a word to describe a feeling worse than shame? I felt awful. I thought back to every mistake I made, every stupid decision I made, and how I have hurt my family and friends in the process of it all, even though they might not know it. I paced up and down, thinking back, feeling guilt and remorse, mentally apologizing to everyone, trying to forgive myself for it all and failing miserably.

I never thought I’d end up like this.

I was always little goody two-shoes. Studious, modest, patient, obedient, kind. How did I end up making such bad decisions in life? Look at me now. I’m struggling to find a job, struggling with such delicate health, and battling a mental disorder. 5 years ago, if you asked my classmates and professors how likely I was to succeed, EVERYONE would agree that I would breeze through life with grace. That’s what I was like. Everyone thought life was made for me. It was. It really was.
Then Life happened.

I’ve spent hours and hours in the last few years trying to figure things out, trying to forgive myself but it just doesn’t happen.

After spending the afternoon being washed over by waves of shame, I came into the living room, to see if the TV could prove to be a worthy distraction. I came in here, feeling pathetic, and turned on the TV. There was a woman on screen. But only for a second. She moved away, only to remind me of someone I had not thought of in a long time.

Krishna.

There was a statue of Radha and Krishna on screen. He does this EVERY time. He NEVER fails to love me even when I hate myself the most. See these simple gestures? He just wanted to remind me that he’s there, because he knows sometimes I forget. Yet he still loves. Tears filled my eyes as I asked him why he does this. Why does he always forgive me even though I keep sinning again and again, why does he love me even though I don’t deserve it? It didn’t even take him a second to make me realize that he is there, with open arms, to love me and forgive me and heal me from this distress. I may think I’m grown up now but I’m still a child. I’m still making mistakes every day. I stumble and fall but like a loving father, Krishna always holds my hand and helps me walk again.

Life is new everyday. It changes in a minute. The only constant is Krishna.

I hope I never forget that.

10 Comments

Filed under Krishna Consciousness, Testimonies + Miracles + Mercy Stories, Uncategorized

Hey All!

Hey guys,

It’s been a while! Just thought I’d update you all about what’s going on with me right now.

I’ve recently started working. It’s a 3-month internship at a large firm here in Dubai. The job is hectic and the pay is very very less, but I’m grateful because I’m getting to learn a lot and it’s quite suitable for me considering my health.

On the first day of work, I wanted to quit because the washrooms were terrible. But luckily, I asked my friend about other washrooms in the vicinity and she directed me to one which is quite alright, thank God. It’s obviously not up to my standards, but it’s manageable. The fact that I am able to manage is very encouraging. I felt like most people thought I quit my previous job because it was all in my head, and my expectations and standards of hygiene are insanely high. People thought that rather than the equipment being the problem, my perceptions of everything was the problem. At one point, even I thought that it was just in my head and that OCD is getting in the way. However, now I am SURE that it is not my perception. The washrooms at my new office are more or less the ‘normal’ kind and function well. They are one of those funky designed ones that look so fancy, like at my previous job. And the fact of the matter is that I can handle it and I don’t complain as much! This just proves to me that I am not insane and that in normal circumstances, I can really manage. Even if I didn’t have OCD and had to use the washrooms in the previous office, I would have complained a lot. This is just so reassuring to me and makes me feel sane!

I take a long time when I visit the washroom but at least I feel relatively clean. And another amazing breakthrough I had since I started working is that now I can get out of the house without showering, which is something I haven’t done in a year! I usually take about 1 – 1.5 hours to shower (yes I know, that is insanely long but I have many rituals to go through when I shower). So I have to be ready to leave for work by 6:45. In order to shower and have enough time to get ready and have breakfast, I would have to wake up at about 4 am. Then I would have to shower, and then go to work. And obviously, I will get dirty at work so I will have to shower again when I come back home. This would waste about 3-4 hours of my day everyday just showering. My skin is already chapped and wrinkly, and often sore with burns from strong soaps. My hair too would get weaker than it already is with the constant washing. So I figured I’d just shower at night right before bed. On the second day of work, I had showered before bed so when I woke up I was still feeling clean. Then I went to the washroom to freshen up and nothing went wrong, to my surprise. No water splashed on me, I didn’t accidentally touch anything dirty, etc. so I decided not to shower! It was amazing! The feeling was amazing! Then I just showered when I came home from work and this is what I do now on most days. On some days when I feel dirty in the morning, I just simply take a body bath. This is also something I haven’t done in a year! All of this is thanks to Krishna’s mercy. A few months – no a few weeks ago, I wouldn’t have even dreamed of taking only a body bath or going out of the house without showering first.

I am also now able to pick up things from the floor (without touching the floor), thanks to the exposure exercises I was doing on my own. Now I can even not care if my clothes touch the ground when I’m putting them on. All of these is truly amazing and I can hardly believe it. I am also wearing new clothes again. I had stopped wearing new clothes and simply wore my old, safe-to-wash clothes before because I was afraid of ruining my good clothes. I still wear only those clothes that can be safely washed but I’m making an effort to buy those clothes that look good too and won’t get ruined in the washing machine. I have been shopping and trying on new clothes, which is something I haven’t done in ages because of the fear of making them dirty. My counselor says I should be proud of myself because I have come a long way and now that I think of it, I actually really have. There is still a long way for me to go, but it is not as long as it used to be. And this is all thanks to Krishna, to my friends and family, and to all you dear devotees who supported me and prayed for me, so thank you 🙂

Another good thing is that in my office, most of the people are Indians/Hindus so I have the liberty to put up wallpapers and posters of Krishna at my desk which I have done with so much pleasure. I enjoy working and then looking over to my right and seeing Krishna’s beautiful face smiling down at me 🙂 Truly, His mercy knows no bounds. I was disheartened at taking this job because it is just an internship and the pay is so less, but my friend says that perhaps God wanted me to get this job so that my OCD would come under control and I would get used to working and then I would be able to handle other environments. Who knows? Krishna has His own plans for me and all I need to do is surrender to His will!

I just hope now that I either get a permanent job offer at this company soon, or that I get a good job after the duration of my internship in a company where the environment (i.e. the office washrooms lol) are good and suitable for me!

I am also working as a blog writer for a new company here in Dubai. This truly is a dream come true. I have been hoping and waiting for a chance to do some official writing and get my name published. In University, I had hoped of publishing papers in collaboration with University professors but never got an opportunity. Now finally, I can WRITE! I am so thrilled about this and so thankful to God for this! It is an unpaid job, but I don’t really care because I really want to make a name out of myself in the writing world!

Until next time, everyone! 🙂

Hare Krishna!

7 Comments

Filed under OCD, Testimonies + Miracles + Mercy Stories

Janmashtami 2011

Happy Janmashtami! This post is late and unfortunately this time I have no photos to upload but let me tell you something you already know – it was breathtakingly beautiful.

The best part was that I got to take my grandmother and uncle with me. I have been so eager for them to come and see the empty halls that become beautiful with the presence of Krishna, His associates and His devotees. It truly is the Lord’s mercy because I am always keen to take my grandmother out on festivals but I don’t always get the chance to do so.

Anyway, we couldn’t stay very long so we just planned to take darshan. And I also desperately wanted some of that glorious charnamrit! Yum yum. So we entered the hall, and I was feeling good to be amongst devotees again after so long in this festive atmosphere. Then I started to hear the kirtan that was going on, and my heart started to swell. We took darshan of Krishna and I found tears in my eyes. How does this happen? Everytime I go to the hall feeling normal and fine and when the kirtan starts and Krishna appears before me in His infinite glory, I am just taken in. Then I want to stare and stare and beg Him to love me even though I know He does. I wanted to stay there forever. It just felt so amazing to be there!

Darshan ended quickly as there was a really big crowd so we had to keep moving. Then we got amazing prasadam and I got my long desired charnamrit! Ooh I can taste it now. I never liked it before but now I am just crazy about it! It’s the best!

There were many devotees doing seva like handing out gifts, prasadam, and keeping everyone’s shoes/sandals in a bag. It was so endearing to see little kids of 10 years doing their bit to help out. The Lord is so merciful that He has engaged them in serving Him like this. When we were taking back our sandals, this one devotee did something so sweet. The person volunteering to give back sandals emptied out the bag and so our sandals were on the floor. My grandmother turned over my sandals and I wore them and the next thing I knew, I saw a devotee bending down turning over my grandmother’s sandals and helping her wear them! She didn’t really need the help but he thought she did and without hesitation he proceeded to help her. Now this was truly amazing for me to see because since I have OCD, the idea of touching shoes and sandals, that too someone else’s, really puts me in an anxious state. And here was this devotee of the Lord, looking to serve another devotee. And he wasn’t worrying about germs. He didn’t care that they were someone else’s sandals. To him, he just wanted to serve and help. My grandmother too was touched by the act. I was simply amazed. It’s really true what they say about kind deeds – no matter how small they are, they sure do go a long way. I have no idea who that devotee is but may Krishna bless his heart.

This Janmashtami reminded me that I needed to spend more time with Krishna and it also gave me something to think about with regards to my OCD. Sometime ago, I was praying for good health and I felt like something inside me said that on Janmashtami, the birth of Krishna, I will also have a new birth. I took this to mean that all my health problems will go away since that’s what I was praying for at the time. But now I’m starting to think perhaps it was more a spiritual rebirth. Maybe the idea of rebirth was just in my head and not really the Lord promising me something, but on Janmashtami, I realized that I still have a connection with Krishna even though I haven’t spent a lot of time with Him lately and He is still resting in my heart. I haven’t felt an emotional connection with Him in a long time, and that was just a such nice gift from Him on Janmashtami. Moreover, it was really crazy the things I had to do that day! Like walking barefeet! That is something I haven’t done in a really long time because obviously I dread the idea of germs even on my feet. But the Lord gave me enough strength to do it. And later, a flower they gave us at the program fell on the floor, and of course, I dread picking up things that have fallen on the floor. Even if I pick them, I try not to touch the part that touched the ground. But this was a flower. Plus it was used in Krishna’s service. If anything, instead of becoming dirty, it would purify me. So I picked it up and didn’t bother about which side had touched the ground. Again, my strength comes from Krishna. He says in the Gita that He is the strength of the strong, and the only way I can be strong is through Him. So you see, He helps me in these ways to get over my fears, and from time to time, he rekindles our relationship tirelessly, despite the countless number of times that I put the flame out. And I know that He will always do so for us, out of His unconditional love.

I hope all of you had a blessed Janmashtami too. Share your Janmashtami stories in the comments section if you please 🙂

6 Comments

Filed under Celebrations, Krishna Consciousness, OCD, Testimonies + Miracles + Mercy Stories

Krishna, The Prankster

My uncle has been here in Dubai for about 2 months on a visit visa, looking for a job. So of course, I have been praying to Krishna for him. Last weekend, while praying, I got the feeling that he would get the job on the following Sunday. Sunday came and went but he was still unemployed. I thought maybe I had been mistaken. Maybe Krishna didn’t really promise me he would get a job on Sunday, but it was merely my own hopes projected onto Krishna.

That same week, on Wednesday morning, an aunt called up my uncle and told him she had seen a job vacancy online, at Emirates. Continue reading

14 Comments

Filed under Krishna Consciousness, Testimonies + Miracles + Mercy Stories