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Frustration

There are these moments in life where you feel frustrated and disillusioned. You don’t know whether to run or hide or whether you should take the bull by the horns or just let things fall where they may. Right now, this is how I feel. I’m frustrated because I have a psychological disorder that affects my life, because I have several dietary restrictions due to food intolerances, because I haven’t been unable to find a decent job, because I am stuck living in a country where I will always be an ‘expatriate’ no matter how long I live.

It is the last thing that frustrates me the most. I was born in Dubai and while I love this country, I’m never going to be able to call it my ‘home’ simply because they don’t grant citizenship. This leads me to worry about the fact that one day, when no one is able to sponsor a visa for me, I’m going to have to leave this country. My family and I have given our lives to this country yet it is still not our ‘home.’ I am trying desperately to look for an opportunity elsewhere, in a country that is safe and stable, so that my parents can eventually retire peacefully, and so that we can build a life somewhere new.

I have been out of a job for the past few months. I’m not even keen on working for someone because of how abusive and manipulative employers can be. I feel like I’ve been through quite a lot, in the sense that my patience was really tested at my previous jobs. I don’t want to get into the details but lets say I have seen how companies can be unethical and blatantly lie to their clients, and I have had my employers be so controlling even when it came to things like taking lunch breaks and even a 2 minute break to drink water. Feeling abused and disheartened, I left my job because I felt like I was not being respected as a human being. I wouldn’t be surprised if things like this happened everywhere around the world, too. These are tough times we’re living in.

The reason for frustration, as I understand it, is when something is lacking. I mean this on a deep level, not in the sense of material desires like having the latest iPhone or the biggest house. I mean necessities like a job, security, shelter, etc. Frustration stems from this lack of security and protection. It leads to anxiety of the future because there is uncertainty and a lack of stability. While I am sitting here, feeling waves of frustration wash over me again and again, I thought I’ll have a look at what the Bhagavad Gita says in order to deal with my feeling of helplessness.

But those who worship Me with devotion, meditating on My transcendental form–to them I carry what they lack and preserve what they have.      BG 9.22

Such deep consolation, knowing that Krishna will be there to assist you, by maintaining what you have and by making up for whatever it is that you lack. Everyone feels some sense of lacking in one way or another. Lack of strength, confidence, self-esteem, money, intelligence. So many other things. Let Krishna be your strength, your confidence, your pride, your wealth and your intelligence. Let him provide for you what you lack.

Anyone who prays unto Me and takes shelter from Me becomes My ward, and I protect him always from all sorts of calamities.     Lord Narasimhadeva, Narasimha Purana

This uncertainty of the future, of the state of my career, my wellbeing, my family, etc. are causing me great distress. I must remember to seek shelter of Krishna, and he will protect me from calamity.

He quickly becomes righteous and attains lasting peace. O son of Kunti, declare it boldly that My devotee never perishes.     BG 9:31

Ah, the peace that we are all looking for. Peace and promise of everlasting life.

The steadily devoted soul attains unadulterated peace because he offers the result of all activities to Me; whereas a person who is not in union with the Divine, who is greedy for the fruits of his labor, becomes entangled.     BG 5:12

I have been thinking about this a lot lately. I have been praying and asking for things, asking for Krishna to get me out of this mess that I am in. Then I remembered that I must not hanker for the fruit of any activity. I must let Krishna decide the outcome, and I must offer the results of my activities to Gopinath and work for his sake. Do the best you can do and do what you must, but leave the results to Krishna.

Perform your duties to the best of your ability and offer the results to Krishna. He will preserve what you have and should be lacking anything, he will provide it for you, as he sees fit. All the while, he will protect you as he promises and he will give you peace. Frustration will rear its head again and again because it is the nature of this world. But lucky for us, Krishna is on our side. And we all know which side is going to win.

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